


Seeking Absolution

by TK_DuVeraun



Series: Seeker Junior [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3878800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_DuVeraun/pseuds/TK_DuVeraun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Touched by a Spirit of Faith, Seeker Trevelyan is immune to possession by demons. It just so happens that this immunity protects her memories from the Fear Demons in the Fade. At least no one's accusing her of killing the Divine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There are Better Ways

“Commander.”

Cullen barely heard the title. It drifted in one ear and floated around until he decided the speaker was talking to Meredith and then out the other. The movement of the pen in his hand didn’t even slow. _I regret to inform you that…_

“ _Commander._ ”

Cullen shook his head, trying to ignore the voice. He had enough work, he didn’t have time to deal with Meredith’s… His hand shook so hard ink flew across the page. Meredith’s… death… was the entire reason he had so much work.

“Knight-Commander Rutherford!” The speaker slapped the desk with her heavy, polished gauntlet. She leaned over him, green eyes flashing in the candlelight.

“S-seeker! I didn’t expect- Are you here to investigate..?”

She shook her head and set her equally polished helmet on his desk, directly over the notifications he was writing. “ _We_ are, but not I. I come directly from the right hand of the Divine, Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast. She and the Left Hand are forming a new Inquisition. The Divine believes it may become necessary if the Conclave yields no results.”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck; when he pulled his hand away, it was covered with cold sweat. “An Inquisition? The conclave is a year away. Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“The Inquisition must be a power before we are needed. We will need support from all quarters and _Orlesians_ …” She doesn’t elaborate, just ends the last word with a sneer.

He laughed, but cut himself off when he heard the sound reflect the hysteria that had been building under his skin. “With your accent, you must be a Marcher.”

She nodded with the barest tilt of her head. “Seeker Adrianna Trevelyan of Ostwick. This cause is… Close to my heart. My sister is a mage. There has been no word of her since the fighting reached the Ostwick circle.” Adrianna bowed her head, the great axe on her back shifting with the motion.

Culeen shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with her worry and the memories of Kinloch that fought to reach the surface of his mind. “Right. Why does Seeker Pentaghast want me in particular?”

The Seeker hummed, thinking, with the pain still etched across her features. The dim light reflected off her hair - dark brown, maybe black. After what felt like an hour of consideration she tilted her head up, meeting his eyes. “Temperance. We know who you are. What you’ve been through. Seeker Pentaghast and Sister Lelianna think you’re the the best suited to lead our forces.”

Cullen gingerly picked up her helmet and moved it off of his letter. “I can’t abandon my post here.”

“What post? The Chantry has all but disavowed the Templars. Kirkwall is chaos. This is not a city. It is a warzone.”

“I can’t just abandon the men and women in my service here. Yes, it’s a warzone, but I’m not going to leave them to die. They trust me. They need me.” Cullen shook his head and dipped his pen in the small pot of ink.

“Then bring them. We need skilled men. Loyal men. Even if everything goes right at the Conclave, this conflict won’t end overnight.” She held out her hand, dark metal of her gauntlet shining in the candlelight.

Cullen pressed his lips together in a tight line that pulled on the fresh scar over his lip. “I’ve had so many masters I can’t trust.”

The Seeker shook her head. “I can’t make you promises. I’m not in charge, but Seeker Pentaghast wants you and you alone to command our forces. We can’t afford to have a chorus of voices yelling orders. This _is_ a war. We know that.”

Cullen didn’t respond right away. He sat there, pen scratching across the paper in blocking Ferelden script. He placed the pen in its stand, closed the ink bottle and dusted the paper with a fine sand to dry the ink. He pushed back his heavy chair, the wooden legs scraping against the bare floor. Then he stood and waved her hand away.

The Seeker frown and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Don’t be so hasty, Seeker Trevelyan.” He took a deep breath and then clapped his fist to his breastplate, just over his heart. “I’d be honored to join the Inquisition.”

Seeker Trevelyan smiled and nodded. “Save it for the ladies in charge, Commander,” she joked, though the humor didn’t ring true.

Cullen understood. Not much could break through the pain wracking everyone in Southern Thedas.

\----

The first day after landing in Ferelden, Seeker Trevelyan sat with Cullen in front of the large campfire in the center of a ring of tents containing the Templars from Kirkwall that wanted to follow Cullen to the Inquisition. “Seeker Pentaghast will be pleased. You’re bringing her an army.”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and fought the itchy feeling under his skin. He felt like he could sense every bottle of lyrium carried by every Templar following them. “Don’t you mean, pleased that _you’re_ bringing her an army?”

Trevelyan shook her head a motion that sent her straight, brown hair flying everywhere. She carefully bunched it to together and then separated it into sections - a motion Cullen remembered seeing his sisters do all too often. “Don’t misunderstand, Commander Rutherford. I work for Cassandra. She has not said so explicitly, not that I can promise, but I believe she plans for you to be equal in this to her and Sister Lelianna.”

Cullen rubbed his chin and watched as the Seeker braided her hair, twisting the plait over the top of her head. He shook his head to clear it. “How did you find me?”

“You were the Knight-Commander, where else would you have been?”

“You know what I mean. When I asked before, you just said ‘Temperance.’ That’s not an answer.” Cullen rubbed his chin again and then picked up his helmet. He took out a soft cloth and started buffing out the salt-water marks.

“Seeker Pentaghast and Sister Lelianna have a few… candidates they wish to offer the role of Inquisitor to. Wars are never won by committee. We need someone on top to give us clear direction. To keep all of the parts of the organization together.”

“That doesn’t-”

“Seeker Pentaghast’s candidate spent years in Kirkwall. We know he’s long gone, but it was the best place to start. She uncovered information about you whilst looking for him.”

“You don’t mean… Of course you do. How can you even think about putting Hawke in charge? He let that abomination blow up the chantry! He started this whole mess. Do you have any idea how many innocent people died because of him?” He dropped the helmet as he jumped to his feet. “Have you gone mad? Make Hawke the Inquisitor and you guarantee you’ll never have the support of the Templars. Or even the Chantry!”

“Calm down, Rutherford. We don’t know what she has planned. Even if _she_ did find Hawke and he _did_ agree to come, Sister Lelianna and Ambassador Montilyet could veto her choice. As bad of a choice for Inquisitor as you think he might be, he’s nothing less than a Hero to the mages in this rebellion. Just having him show up at the Conclave could turn the tide.” She pinned her plait in place and then gestured for him to sit.

Cullen sat and then ripped off his gloves. He scratched at his wrists and the back of his hand furiously and grit his teeth.

“I don’t think Hawke is an ideal choice either, but I have no other suggestions, save perhaps Warden Alistair, but by all accounts, he deferred in everything to the Hero of Ferelden. We need someone to lead.” She clapped her fist into her open palm. The Seeker leaned forward and  patted him on the shoulder. “This entire situation is a mess. We all just have to do the best we can.”

Cullen sighed and dropped his hands. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“I have faith in Most Holy’s choice of leaders.”

With a sigh, Cullen hung his head and shook it back and forth slowly. “What if we’re just shouting into the wind?”

“Then we’ll find another way to bring peace to Thedas.”

His hands started to shake of their own accord, muscles burning, protesting the lack of lyrium in his blood.

“Commander Rutherford…”

Cullen looked up and saw the Seeker leaned forward, eyes narrow as she looked him over, taking in each detail in a way that would have made his skin crawl if it hadn’t already been crawling from withdrawal.

“You stopped taking lyrium.” It’s not a question.

“Yes.”

“Entirely?”

“Yes.”

Cullen watched Seeker Trevelyan stand and leave the campfire, certain she would come back and call everything off. Send him back on the first boat to Kirkwall. However, when she returned, she handed him a small bottle of lyrium. He shook his head and turned away from the temptation.

“Seeker, I can’t. I can’t be a part of… that life anymore.”

“Cullen. What you’ve done is foolhardy and dangerous. Take this. Now.” She tilted her chin up as she looked down at him. “If you don’t still have your philter, then turn it down, but I know you do. The addiction claws at you. Take it now. Once we reach Haven you and Seeker Cassandra can speak with a healer about setting up a proper schedule to reduce your intake until you can safely stop.”

Hands shaking, Cullen took the bottle. The frown tore into his face. The shame burned almost as badly as the withdrawal. Legs twitching, he retreated to his tent to take his first dose since Seeker Trevelyan walked into his office.

\---

Cullen and Seeker Trevelyan rode side by side at the front of their small company of Kirkwall Templars. At their current pace they would reach Haven just after sundown, if Cullen’s old geography lessons were accurate. Travelling with the Seeker was a strange experience. Always, Seekers had been above the Templars, watching, judging, passing sentences and reassignments.

Now, though, if Seeker Trevelyan was right, they were to be, at least, equals. He glanced over at her, fine noble features outlined in the noon sun. Adrianna shifted between giving orders and asking Cullen for instruction. For the first time Cullen wished he could do away with the power dynamics and games. It made his shoulders tense as it brought up memories of Kirkwall.

Her voice broke through his musing. “I take it we didn’t pass your family’s home?”

Cullen chuckled. “I thought you knew everything about me.”

She laughed, a small spot of joy. “We, the Seekers of Truth, know everything about you. I know only what I needed to convince you come.” She took one hand from the reins and gestured to the Ferelden wilderness. “And I know even less about where we are.”

Cullen’s eyebrows shot up. “But you’ve been the one leading us.”

“Sister Lelianna has left markers for her agents. I knew what to look for and so I followed them. Now, we’re close enough to the Temple that there are markings left by pilgrims and the like. Easy enough for even a stranger to follow.” She shrugged, metal pauldrons shifting with the motion and pulling on the great-axe slung high on her back to hold it away from her mare.

“When you say Sister Lelianna, is that the same Lelianna that travelled with the Hero of Ferelden?” Cullen briefly closed his eyes to keep the other memories from Kinloch at bay. “If so, I believe I’ve met her.”

Seeker Trevelyan nodded her head. “She eagerly seconded you as Cassandra’s choice for commander. We know you can withstand temptation if nothing else.” She paused. “I’m sorry, that was a bit inappropriate, wasn’t it?”

“We all have our demons,” Cullen said, trying to hold his feelings back. He couldn’t afford to be so sensitive.

“Nevertheless. I didn’t join the Seekers until later in life. I spent too many years in the Marcher court and in Val Royeaux. It taught me to use a rather biting, circuitous way of speaking.” She looked over at him and smirked. “I had to unlearn a lot of bad habits when I learned how to fight properly.”

He laughed then, leaning forward towards the neck of his gelding. “Don’t we all? I must say, though, I don’t remember training noble’s children fondly.” He sat up and over-straightened his back. With an affected sneer and nasal tone he said, “Well _my_ horsemaster taught me how to do it this way and he’s the best horseman in all of Ferelden!”

“I wasn’t quite that bad. When you only have claim to a bannorn, you can’t afford to be cocky. Especially not in Val Royeaux.”

“Do you miss that life?”

“ _Maker_. No! Of course not. It was unbearable. That’s why I joined the Seekers. My older brother can play Lord. What about you? Ever wish you had stayed on the farm?”

In an instant, Cullen’s smile faded. “Sometimes. After Kinloch I wanted to go back, but I couldn’t run with my tail between my legs. Not after I lost so many friends. I had to keep trying. Then I was transferred to Kirkwall and you know what happened there.”

“I think the phrase ‘Corrupted Justice’ suits both sides of the conflict.” She grinned but then clapped a gauntlet over her mouth. “Do excuse me. Seeker Pentaghast has had me travelling on my own for too long.”

“And here I thought you were just comfortable around me.”

“I don’t have to impress you, Rutherford. Among the Seekers my breeding counts against me and in Court it’s not good enough.”

“You seem capa-” He snapped his mouth shut when she raised her hand and stopped her mare in her tracks.

In a single motion, she detached her helmet from the back of her saddle and swung it onto her head. She motioned Cullen and the vanguard forward with a sharp gesture.

Magic crackled in the air and Cullen felt the lyrium in his blood thrum in response: a familiar throb that reminded him of everything he’d lost to it. He grit his teeth and secured his own helmet before pulling up his shield. He kept his horse on the same level as the Seeker’s but let her lead.

“Stand down and you will not be molested. We’ve no interest in you this day.”

“Not this time, Templar!” A bolt of mage-lightning shot out of the brush on the side of the road.

Cullen pulled his energy in and prepared to dispel it, but Seeker Trevelyan swung her great axe from over her shoulder in an arc to deflect the bolt in front of her horse. The magic dissipated, but her mare reared in response. She settled the animal with a single touch and then spoke to her attacker again.

“Stand down. I have with me a score of Templars. This is your last chance to let us pass.”

‘Bitch’ and other cursewords left the bushes, but no more spells or attacks. Nevertheless, Cullen kept his shield at the ready and itched to increase their pace until they reached a part of the road with an unobstructed view.

The Seeker said nothing to him, just lead her mare with one hand while the other held her great-axe out to the side.

 

\----

 

“How are you settling in?”

Cullen turned towards Adrianna’s voice and started when he saw she was in plain clothes rather than her polished Seeker armor. “Ah, well-enough, Seeker Trevelyan. The men are more… accepting of me than I thought they would be.”

“You may have left the Templar Order, but they believe you’re following a higher purpose.” She flicked her long braid over her shoulder. “And have you set up a schedule with Seeker Pentaghast and the healer about what we discussed before?”

With a hand on the back of his neck, Cullen grimaced. “It’s progressing.”

“Glad to hear it.” She nodded and turned to watch the men practicing. “Are you having them specialize or general sword and board?”

“Until we know what happens at the Conclave, it’s a little premature to specialize. And the last thing I want to do is turn them all into machines incapable of anything but combat when come eight months they’ll be back in their father’s shop or the family’s fields.”

She grinned, but it didn’t meet her eyes. “I like your optimism.”

“Lelianna has a score of archers and rogues already. If anyone express an interest in two-handed weapons I’ll send them to you.” He tilted his head at her.

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered you think so highly of my skills or annoyed that you’re already planning to give me more work.” She wrinkled her nose, but then winked at him. “Either way, it’s a bit premature, don’t you think? You haven’t even seen me fight.”

“Oh, are you volunteering to do an exhibition spar in front of the recruits tomorrow?”

“That’s hardly fair. You trained with the Order since you were what, fourteen? I didn’t join the Seekers until I was twenty.”

“But My Lady Trevelyan, you’re a Seeker and I but a lowly Templar.”

“Fine, fine, Rutherford, but if you want to spend time making a woman sweaty there are better ways.” She laughed as the blood rushed to his face and sauntered off before he made a fool of himself in the training yard.

 

\---

 

_Are you volunteering for that, too?_

It was a mantra in his head. Over and over. Not that he was some teenage boy eager to act on _urges_. No, it’s just that for once in his life, he has the perfect, _perfect_ comeback to a jab taken at him and it came an hour too late.

The frustration plagued him enough that he made the recruits run an extra kilometer in practice. He now sat at the wooden desk in the small office Lelianna allocated him in the upper level of the Chantry in Haven.

“Are you volunteering for that, too?” He said aloud, slamming his fist on the desk.

“That’s not what I came here for, but I’m sure we can work something out.” Adrianna didn’t manage to finish the sentence before her laughter got the better of her. “Have you truly been thinking about saying that all day, Cullen?”

“This isn’t- I wasn’t-” Cullen took a breath and stood. “It’s not often I have a clever comeback. And I had no one to share it with.”

“Yes, a good Chantry boy like you wouldn’t be used to teasing.” She waved him back into his chair and moved to stand next to his desk. “The ladies in charge are forming a list of who from the Inquisition should attend the Conclave.”

Cullen’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “They didn’t mention it to me.”

“They are _now_.” She handed him a sheaf of papers. “We still have some months and they believed you’d be happier not subjected to their political machinations.”

He shifted a candle in closer to get better light on the paperwork. Lelianna’s spider-silk scribble lined the page. He didn’t even realize Adrianna was still there until she ran two fingers down his back.

“You’re not wearing your armor, Cullen.”

“Neither are you, _Adrianna_ ,” he said, stressing her name, but not looking up.

Her thin, calloused fingers went under his chin, tilting his face up and away from the lists. “As I said, we’ve months before we need that list finalized.”

His eyes danced up and down her body for a moment before meeting hers again. Cullen smirked. “Then just what are you doing here?”

She chuckled, a sound so much deeper than her voice. Then, she kicked his chair back and away from the desk with surprising strength. Before Cullen could protest, she straddled his lap and whispered in his ear. “Volunteering, I should think.”

 

 


	2. Futility of Wanting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like tone juxtaposition.

_Pain, pain. Hot, cold, arm, arm in pieces, arm on fire. Hand! Hand tearing, ripping, shreds falling off._ With a gasp, Adrianna woke. Nearly blind, she sat up and felt around her bed with her right hand. The left, maybe she moved it? She couldn’t tell. Everything from the shoulder down was pain.

“Adrianna, what do you remember?”

She blinked at the bright green light clouding her vision, tried to make sense of everything. “Cassandra..?

“Adrianna, tell me what you remember. What happened at the Conclave?”

Memories. _Light, sound, screams, burning white-hot. Before that, back, back. Crowds. Angry, armor and robes and staves and swords, but..._ “My sister… She’s alive. Oh _Maker_ , she’s alive.”

“What happened after that?”

“Most Holy. I went to her, as you ordered. Wardens, red light, restraining. A darkspawn with a face, a voice. It called her the sacrifice.”

Cassandra’s breath came in sharply enough to get Adrianna’s attention. She turned her head to her superior, eyes finally cleared enough to make sense of everything.

“She hit its arm, it dropped an… orb? I picked it up, then everything went _green_. We ran. Nightmares followed us. A portal, green, glowing, burning. Only one could pass. Most Holy, she pushed me forward, made me go. I had no choice.”

“I’m going to the forward camp.” Lelianna’s voice came from behind her. “Take her to the rift. See what you can do.”

Cassandra nodded and then pulled on Adrianna’s arm. “I know you’re poorly, but we have no time.”

After stumbling out of the bed and onto her feet, Adrianna nearly collapsed when the pain in her hand surged again. “What is this?”

“It’s killing you. And it’s connected to the Breach. More than that, we do not know.” Cassandra released her arm.

Adrianna staggered to the door. Her great-axe laid propped against the frame. Her right arm shook as she reached for it, but with so much uncertainty, she couldn’t leave it behind. She pulled the straps from the carrying brace over her shoulders, moving her unresponsive left arm with her right hand.

When she exited the cottage, she nearly met the ground again. “The sky. The sky is broken.”

“We’re calling it the Breach. Come, Adi, there is no time.”

“How did this happen?”

“We don’t know. There was an explosion at the Conclave. The Breach was the result. You’re the only survivor.” Cassandra’s back remained unbowed as she lead them.

“But Most Holy- Evelyn-”

“You said yourself that Most Holy pushed you through a door and did not follow. My people found you in the ruins. They say you fell out of a Rift. That Andraste herself pushed you out of the Fade. Thanks to you, we know now it was Most Holy. I had hoped…”

In time with her voice trailing off, the bridge collapsed beneath their feet. Before she could pull herself up, demons appeared from flashes of green. Adrianna unhooked her great-axe and used it as leverage to stand. The pain in her left hand made it useless for gripping, but it could help guide her swings as she tore through the creatures.

When the last one disappear in a poof of green smoke, she fell to her knees, tears falling from her eyes as the Mark in her hand wrenched and pulled.

“We must keep going.” Cassandra said before pulling her again to her feet. “Varric and Solas are ahead.”

Varric she knew. “Solas?”

“An apostate. He appeared in Haven just after the Breach formed. The Mark on your hand is connected to the Breach. Each time the Breach grows, the Mark spreads and takes more from you.”

“It’s not just the pain. I am dying.” Adrianna knew the truth as soon as she said the words. The Mark left a trail of green under her skin leading up her exposed arm to who knew how far up her chest.

“Solas believes your Mark may be able to seal the Breach.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then the Breach may consume the world.”

Adrianna shook her head. “Where’s Cullen?”

“Ahead. He’s trying to hold a path open to the Breach.” Cassandra turned back to look at her. “He’s been sick with worry.”

“I’d best hurry to the Breach, then. For all our sakes.”

\----

“Is it over?”

“No. The Breach - and your Mark - have stopped growing, but it’s still there and there are reports of rifts coming in from all over Thedas.” Cullen grasped her right hand between both of his. “I know you’re tired, but the ladies want to see you.”

“Me? Why?” Adrianna sat up and groaned at her aching muscles. She looked down. At least someone had changed her into sleeping clothes this time.

“You know what happened at the Conclave. You have the Mark and… Did Cassandra tell you? When you were found, the men claimed that Andraste herself let you out of the rift. After you stopped the Breach… They’re calling you the Herald of Andraste.”

With a wince, she slid her legs off the bed and shuffled to her pile of clothes on the small table. “It wasn’t Andraste. Divine Justinia was there. She pushed me through.” The fingers on her left hand protested the movement, but they actually worked and she was able to dress with only minimal difficulties.

“I know, but with a hole in the sky, the truth doesn’t count for much.” Cullen stood next to her and offered his arm to help her walk towards the Chantry building.

“But _they_ know the truth, so why involve me?” She shuffled with him towards the door, feeling as weak as a newborn foal.

“If being the only one able to close rifts wasn’t enough…” Cullen took a deep breath. “You’re a symbol now. I don’t play politics, but even I can see what’s coming.”

“They can’t make _me_ the Inquisitor.”

“We won’t do _anything_ until the Breach is closed, but unless someone even more spectacular appears before then…”

“Of course.” She spit out every curseword she knew. “Are you certain Josephine won’t try to push it up?”

Cullen stopped and turned to face her. “I’m still coming to terms with you being _alive_ , Adi.” He tilted his head to press his forehead to hers, but she jerked out of the way.

“If I’m the only survivor then my sister is _dead_!” She strode forward as quickly as she could.

Even though Cullen could easily overtake her, he stayed two steps behind.

“Hey, Seeker Junior. Come ‘ere, I gotta a few questions for you,” Varric called from his own personal campfire.

“We have to-” Cullen started, but then cut himself off. It was too late. She knew he was in a hurry, so Adrianna made a beeline for Varric just to spite him.

“Questions?”

Varric spread his arms, palms up. “I’ve been hearing things. Things like your account of what happened at the Conclave.”

Adrianna shrugged and then winced as her muscles protested. “Ask away. I’d rather the truth go out than these rumors of being chosen by Andraste.”

“I’m not going to contest your position as Herald-”

“Why not?”

“Look, you told Seeker Prime that the Divine was being restrained by Wardens and there was a Darkspawn with a more human-than-normal face, right?” Varric pulled on the bottom of his coat.

“Yes, with this… glowing red stone protruding from his skin. Taller than any human, claws for hands.”

“Shit. Seeker Prime is gonna kill me.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I’d rather not, but not much choice, huh? Come on. I don’t want to explain this twice. We’d better get the yelling over with.”

Adrianna looked over her shoulder at Cullen, but his face showed just as much confusion.

\---

“...And you, Child, you dishonour everything your ancestors worked to build. You’re no Seeker.” Lucius all but spat the words at Adrianna.

Seeker Trevelyan kept her chin up and raised her bare left hand in a fist, the green light from the Mark shining for the crowd to see. “You abandon Thedas when a hole in the sky threatens everyone for your own pride. You commit a greater sin than the Seekers of old who forged the chains we forced the mages and Templars into breaking!”

But for all her zeal, she may as well have shouted into the wind. The Lord Seeker did not turn or even acknowledge her words. She clenched her jaw and stared at his back until a tug on her elbow made her turn.

“Come on, Junior, we’ve done enough here.”

“There is something wrong with Lord Seeker Lucius,” Cassandra said from her place at Adrianna’s shoulder.

“I agree. This isn’t like him.” Adrianna shook her head. “Were we not immune to possession…”

“You two will have plenty of time to muse on this later. Let’s get out of here before the crowd tramples us, hmmm?”

“You simply don’t understand, Varric.”

“Look Seeker, I know you’re still mad about Hawke, but I’m really looking out for your well-being here.” Varric tugged on both of their sleeves to no avail. “With any luck, Hawke will be there when we get back to Haven. Then you can have a nice yell at him, too. If he’d known Corypheus was involved, he would have volunteered to kill the bastard again.”

“You _lied_ to-”

Adrianna slashed her arm between them. “ _Not_ again and certainly not here. There’s a crowd watching us. Is this the picture you want to paint of the Inquisition?”

As they walked back to the city gates, Varric grumbled under his breath, “You’re one to talk, Junior.”

\---

“After the Lord Seeker’s public denouncement of you, we can’t continue addressing you as Seeker Trevelyan,” said Josephine. She measured Adrianna’s expression and then jotted a note down on her page.

Lelianna gestured to the large map in the center of the room. “I’ve had my people spreading the Herald of Andraste name, but making that official is out of the question without Chantry support.”

Adrianna rubbed her face and then turned to Cassandra, but her one-time mentor just averted her eyes. She sighed and straightened her posture. “And Lady Trevelyan isn’t good enough?”

Josephine shook her head. “You made a name for Lady Trevelyan in Orlesian Court already… As a Bann’s second child. Powerless, but nice to look at.”

Cullen also averted his eyes when she looked at him. Traitor.

“So you’re making me the Inquisitor.” Adrianna pulled on the braid pinned around the crown of her head, eager to keep her hands busy. “Now. When we still have the Breach to deal with.”

“There’s more to it than that.” Lelianna’s lilting accent just served to make it sound even more ominous.

“Corypheus, a hole in the sky, this Mark that may start killing me again and being named Inquisitor. Sure. What more is there?” When they didn’t immediately respond, she grabbed the edge of the table, left hand going white from her tight grip.

The advisors remained silent for too long. Adrianna looked up and saw all three of them and Cassandra exchanging pointed looks. At length, Josephine stepped forward, waving her parchment board, and cleared her throat.

“You know how the Orlesian Court views… dalliances.” She said the last word as if embarrassed to even bring it up. As she should be.

Adrianna snapped her head in Cullen’s direction, but not only had he turned away from the table, he’d taken a few steps towards the exit.

Josephine continued, “Your… Relationship with the Commander has been... public.” She coughed. “ _Very_ public. People outside the Inquisition are already commenting on it. You don’t command enough respect for your indiscretion to be ignored.”

“Then the damage is already done, isn’t it?” She fought to keep from crossing her arms over her chest defensively. She had a sneaking suspicion where this conversation was going. “I don’t see what this has to do with naming me Inquisitor, aside from being equally uncomfortable to talk about.”

Josephine didn’t respond to the heated interjection. “Before we can name you Inquisitor, you must either cease these indiscretions or you both-”

“You’re _joking_ ,” Adrianna interrupted, slamming her gauntlet on the map table. “You’ve gone absolutely _mad_ if you think that’s an option, Josephine. By the Maker, he’s a _peasant_! If this is a delicate political situation-”

The war table shook with the force of Cullen slamming the heavy wooden door shut behind him. Shock painted everyone’s faces - the combination of Adrianna’s outburst with Cullen’s tantrum caught them off guard. Except for Cassandra, who looked as if she’d just been told she could never have sweets again.

“If I’d known you would respond this way, I would have brought it up in private,” Lelianna murmured, fingers lingering over some of the markers on the map to keep her eyes off of Adrianna.

“It’s a little late to feel guilty! And if I’d agreed to marry him? In front of a group of people, with no asking or choice on his part? Bringing this up at all was an insult to both of us.” Adrianna growled, angry, annoyed, embarrassed.

Josephine cleared her throat. “Even so-”

“Even so, nothing. Any leverage we have for my nobility washes down the river, should I agree. Add in, we lose those who would only ally in hopes of catching my eye and taking my hand for himself. You both know the Game better than I. How could you even suggest such a thing?”

“We thought you loved him.” Lelianna’s words were a slap in the face.

“Closing the Breach and stopping Corypheus have to come first.” She frowned and looked at the map to avoid their stares. Adrianna tapped the metal scales on her right gauntlet with her bare left hand. The clinking sound was familiar and helped to ease her nerves.

Cassandra stepped forward and put her hand on Adrianna’s shoulder. “The Orlesian Court loves its dramatic romances. Commoner raised as a Knight, falls in love with a noble, even though it could never be. Then, the sky is rent asunder, it may be the end of the world!”

She tried to add inflection to her voice and failed laughably. The juxtaposition of her monotone voice and grand hand gestures nearly broke through the awkward tension alone. “So he proposes, hoping against hope, what has he to lose? The world is ending. Against the odds, she accepts and is named Inquisitor. While he must stand back and command, her armies she rides into battle against Corypheus.”

Adrianna just put her face in her hands and groaned. “You’ve been reading too many novels. It sounds pretty, yes, but that doesn’t...” With a sigh, she just gave up mid-sentence.

“Actually…” Lelianna said. “She may be onto something. You are truly a story come to life. A living myth.”

Josephine slammed her papers on the table. “Yes, it would work, but Adrianna clearly doesn’t want to….” She trailed off as she saw the looks Lelianna and Cassandra were shooting her. “Or not?”

“Oh Josie.”

“It doesn’t _matter_. You can tell whatever romantic story you want, but if we marry now, it’s for politics, not love.” She ran her left hand over her hair.

“If you refuse, Gaspard may strongarm us into a political marriage with _him_.” Josphine said, gesturing to the marker over Val Royeaux.

“We really don’t want to be put in a position of ‘no marriage, no chevaliers,’” Lelianna added. “Especially as that marriage would destroy any potential with Ferelden.”

“Would he really push that, though? You said it yourself, Josephine, my title means almost nothing.” Adrianna pointed to the Chantry markers. “And with me publically denounced, he would have a hard time selling the being the Herald of Andraste is good enough.”

Josephine returned her quill to her paper. “Gaspard is an extreme example, but once the Breach is sealed, we’ll be drowning in offers.”

“You’re awfully sure none will be worth taking.”

“Oh, _Adi_ , you _can’t_ ,” Cassandra said, grabbing onto her arm. “He loves you!”

“I know that!” She shouted. “But what he wants, what I want, comes second to saving Thedas!”

“I have it!” Josephine said, all but jumping. “Say you marry the Commander now.” Josephine held up her hand to stall Adrianna’s interruption. “You marry him now and if we’re given a proposal we can’t refuse, we can easily manipulate the Chantry into declaring it void, as anyone working with us is doing it without their sanction, then you get married again.”

Adrianna frowned. “And if we don’t get a proposal, then what?”

“Then,” Lelianna said, “you can either still annul the marriage, or have a proper celebration when you do want to actually be married to him.”

“If we do this… The Inquisition gets to have it both ways.” Adrianna rubbed her face and pulled her hand away only to notice it was wet with frustrated tears. She tried to wipe it off, but the moisture just smeared her armor.

“I believe it’s for the best,” Josephine said.

“Fine. I’ll go speak with him.”

\---

Adrianna knocked on the door leading to Cullen’s tiny office in the Haven Chantry. “Cullen,” she said as she opened it.

He stood just inside the door, face still flushed with anger and embarrassment. “I think you said everything you needed to in the meeting.”

In response, Adrianna all but snarled. “Yes, because I wanted this! Wanted my sister dead, wanted to be cursed with this Mark that’s killing me, wanted to suddenly be the most important person in Thedas! Nothing I _want_ matters anymore!”

“And you think that gives you the right to-”

“The right to refuse to be bullied into marrying someone-”

“Someone you’ve been stringing along while waiting for some fancy lord to carry you away on his stallion!”

“Someone who’s _acting_ as if-”

“It’s not an _act_ , Adrianna, I _love_ you!”

“If you loved me, you’d understand that I can’t do this! My sister just died. Most Holy literally died just to keep me alive,” she held up her left hand, the Mark glowing softly, “and I’m dying regardless. I’m the only one who can stop the Breach that’s tearing Thedas apart, but you think I can set that aside and talk about getting married.”

Cullen waved his arm in denial. “You didn’t say, ‘I need more time,’ you said, ‘This is madness, he’s a commoner, what were you thinking.’”

“I can’t afford to be weak, Cullen. All hope is lost without me. If I crack, we have nothing left; we’re doomed to perish to the Breach or Corypheus.” She tried to stare at him as the words sunk in, but the dam finally broke on the terrified tears she’d been holding back since she woke with the Mark.

Cullen immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, their armor scraping together. He pulled her over and sat her down in his chair. Silently, he removed her gauntlet and pauldrons while she cried.

After he’d dropped his own gauntlets on the floor, he knelt next to the chair and took her hands in his. “I’m sorry. This is all too much for me, too. That’s why it hurt so much when you called marrying me… madness.”

Adrianna took a few deep breaths and pulled her right hand away to wipe her face. “Cassandra convinced the other two that us marrying is the best option. It gives us a politically valid reason to refuse marriage offers and still insist on aid and since the Chantry has disavowed any Sisters and Mothers that support us, if I need to marry someone for political reason… They just claim we were never really married to begin with.”

Cullen’s face looked like she’d struck him. “How can you-”

“What I _want_ doesn’t matter, Cullen. It’s unlikely we’ll get an offer we can’t refuse, but we have to do this with our eyes open.” She put her hands on his cheeks. “When this is over, if you still want, we can be married properly with our families in attendance and no outside conditions prompting it.”

He put his hands over hers. “You say it doesn’t matter, but is this what you want?”

“If I must marry to save Thedas, you are my first and only choice, Cullen.”

 

 


	3. Are You, Really?

“So I’m… really doing this.” Cullen said, fidgeting in front of the glass.

The Iron Bull smacked his shoulder. “Stop squirming. You want to impress her, don’t you?”

Cullen smoothed down the front of the formal suit. His fingers lingered over the crest on his shoulder. He’d asked Josephine to just find some crest no one would get too angry about him using, but she’d deliberately gone around him on a technicality and used the Sword of Mercy. Just looking at the image made his skin itch, remembering the familiar burn from lyrium.

“Commander? You still with me? Boss won’t like it if you space out during the ceremony.” The Iron Bull looked over his shoulder at him through the mirror. The Qunari wore his simple leather bracer and poofy trousers, yet he was doing a marvelous job of making Cullen look presentable.

“Er, right. Yes. I do want to impress her. I just… Why couldn’t it wait?” Cullen fidgeted again and tried not to frown. He reached his right hand up to rub the back of his neck, but Bull slapped it away.

“Because you can’t afford to send Montilyet to Redcliffe and the Inquisition can’t let a disavowed Seeker make alliances for them, magical hand or no. Now hold still, I’m going to fix your hair.” The Iron Bull pulled and combed and made a complete mess of Cullen’s curls. “Besides, your pretty spymaster is already spreading the star-crossed lovers story. I hear the bards have already composed three songs.”

“I guess it’s too late to back out, then. I’ve faced scores of Abominations without flinching and yet…” Cullen balled his hands into fists to keep from picking at his suit. He couldn’t name the fabric and was certain he didn’t want to know how much Lelianna and Josephine had spent on it.

“Qunari don’t really have interpersonal relationships like this, but I’ve been out in the rest of the world long enough to know. Emotional pain is a lot scarier than physical injuries. Stop worrying. She loves you.” The Qunari did a final wave-swish movement and then pulled his hands away, leaving Cullen’s hair in perfect, loose curls away from his face. “Tada!”

Cullen blinked at his reflection a few times before saying, “I want to propose.”

“Uh, your wedding starts in less than an hour, I think that part’s been covered.”

“She’s only doing this because it’s the best move politically, but I want her to know that it’s not like that for me. I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“If you think she doesn’t know, you’re not giving the Boss enough credit.” Bull shrugged. “But you’re in love, so logic means nothing to you. Alright, I’ll have the boys cause a distraction. Just try not to make her cry.”

\--

If he had been a mage, the air would have crackled around Cullen as he stormed through the Chantry building to his former-office-now-bedroom. He threw open the door with enough force to test the hinges.

“A full alliance? No sanctions? No oversight? Have you completely lost your mind?” He shouted.

Adrianna lifted her head out of hands and looked up from her seat on the edge of their bed. “Yes.” Her eyes were bloodshot and her skin five shades too pale. “I’m willing to do _whatever_ it takes to stop Corypheus. He wants to become a God and if we don’t stop him _now_ , he will succeed.”

Cullen opened his mouth to say something, but his throat was choked with regret for his outburst. _My wife comes back from killing a Magister and this is how I respond?_

“If every soul here dies at the hand of an Abomination, it will be worth it so long as he is stopped. In less than a year, the sky is gone. There is only the Breach overhead. Humans are _farmed_ for red lyrium. Everyone you know is infected with its madness. Not the slow corruption that took Meredith. A pervasive disease that you can see, that you can feel in your body, but can’t fight.” Her voice broke on the last word.

Without a pause to breathe, Cullen swooped down and wrapped his arms around her. If only his armor could protect her from the images burned into the back of her eyelids.  “Shh…”

“It is _one_ thing, to know everyone here would lay down their lives to see this threat ended. It is _another_ to watch the life drain from their eyes one by one. To know that _you_ are the only one who can end it.” She snarled around the tears. “It’s easy to die for someone. Living is the trial.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I wrote my family. They needed to know about Evelyn. That she died fighting for peace. I can’t remember her face. I see her as a child. My memories of the Conclave, all red and green light. The explosion. Pleas for help. Shouting. The pain. The _pain_.”

“Shh, Adi. We’ll make it right. That future won’t happen.” Her rubbed small circles on her back through her underarmor. When she stopped shaking, he quickly unclasped and removed his armor, dropping it onto the wooden floor rather than hanging it up on the rack in the corner.

“We can’t wait. It’s not growing on this side, but in the Fade it expands, it reaches, it draws demons to it. Begging, salivating, grabbing at the real world. The Rifts spread. He can open them. He teaches others. He twists time, rips holes in the fade to undo what I did.” She rambled, tripping over words, eyes seeing something a thousand meters away.

“We’ll make it right. You’ll seal the Breach.” He pushed her unresponsive body down onto the bed. He watched her legs curl up to her chest. His eyes saw himself years ago, in Kinloch after the torture…

Adrianna grabbed her wrists, a sliver of green light escaping from her palm. “I should stand vigil. I can’t move forward like this. All I can see is red. Get Cassandra. She won’t like it. It can’t be helped.”

“Now?”

She turned to face him, but her eyes seemed to look past him. “Now.”

\----

Cassandra _stalked_ around Haven. She snapped at the slightest provocation and they still weren’t expecting Hawke for another week.

Cullen watched her cautiously. At first he’d thought it was stress. Then he thought it was the sudden influx of mages. That was enough to rattle _his_ cage. But then Adrianna sealed the Breach and Cassandra’s mood didn’t lighten in the least. Yes, they still had to deal with Corypheus, but…

With a shake of his head, he cast the thoughts aside and stood next to his wife. His _wife_. As she looked over the celebration. He put an arm around her waist, his gauntlet clanking quietly against the back of her breastplate. “Still in your armor?”

She tilted her head to the side. “Lelianna thought it would be best if they saw me wearing the Inquisitor’s sword. To reinforce that it was the Inquisition, not Adrianna who sealed the Breach.”

“The great-sword suits you. It’s more elegant than the axe.” He smiled and hummed out of rhythm and tune with the music permeating the camp.

“Don’t try to switch professions any time soon.”

Cullen laughed and his heart lightened when she did the same. He kissed her temple. “I’m glad you’re back. Before you underwent the vigil, you were… acting erratically.”

“Damaged, you mean.”

“Adi-”

“Time would have made it better, but we didn’t have time. Though, I’m not sure Cassandra will forgive me.” She rubbed the Mark on her bare left hand with her gloved right one.

“Forgive you for what?”

Slowly, she let out a long breath. “One of my ancestors - on my mother’s side - was the Lord Seeker. Years and years ago. There is a book of knowledge passed from Lord Seeker to Lord Seeker. He copied the secrets into our family’s grimoire.”

Cullen nodded, not sure where this was going, but not wanting to interrupt.

“There has always been magic in my bloodline. When he read the book… The Seekers have known all along how to reverse the rite of tranquility.”

A sharp hiss escaped Cullen.

“The vigil, the rites you undertake to become a Seeker, they include something like being made tranquil and then cured again. We’re touched by a Spirit of Faith. It’s what protects us from possession and gives us our powers.”

“So Lord Seeker Lucius…?”

“And every Lord Seeker before him. They knew this day, this war, would come and did nothing to prevent it.” She rubbed her face with her bare hand.

“You knew.”

“It’s why I joined the Seekers. If I mentioned it as an outsider, this war would have started years earlier. Maybe that Abomination wouldn’t have blown up the Kirkwall Chantry, but we can’t know that it wouldn’t have been worse. At least if I was a Seeker… I could try to change things from within.” She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “I was so full of ideals.”

“You can’t feel guilty for that.”

“And you can’t feel guilty for what Meredith did.”

Cullen stood silently for several minutes. “There’s nothing left but the nightmares. The physical symptoms were never as bad as they were when I first tried. You were right. Thank you.”

Adrianna tilted her head until it rested on his furry pauldron. “Sadly, I’m always right.”

\----

On the far side of the camp, through the smoke from the fires and the people bustling to settle for the night, Solas gestured for Adrianna.

Cullen shook her arm when she didn’t seem to notice. He pointed at Solas when she turned to face him. Weaving his fingers through hers, Cullen stood and walked with her to where the mage waited.

“Commander. Inquisitor.” Solas nodded after each title. “Excuse me for keeping my distance. In your delirium immediately following the initial explosion at the Conclave, you tried to attack me as I healed you. I wanted to lend the Inquisition my aid, but not fend off constant attacks.”

Adrianna shook her head, facial features scrunched up in confusion. “I don’t remember that at all. Cassandra told me who you were, of course, but we’ve never met before… Thank you, for your help.”

“You don’t know why you attacked me..?”

“Not at all. I’m sorry, it must have been terribly ungrateful of me.”

Cullen cleared his throat. “The Inquisition owes you a great debt, Solas, for keeping her alive.”

Solas smiled, though it didn’t break through the melancholy haunting the rest of his expression. “I believe all of Thedas owes _you_ a great debt, Inquisitor. The Breach is sealed.”

Adrianna pulled the blanket tighter over her shoulders. “Now we only have to deal with Corypheus. Hawke will arrive at Haven in a week and find nothing but snow-covered ruins. We could dig it out, but the damage…”

Cullen pulled Adrianna close and pulled the end of his cloak around her and her blanket. “We can always rebuild. If you’d died in the blizzard we’d be lost.”

“True as that is, we don’t necessarily _need_ to rebuild. And if we did, you said it yourself Commander, Haven simply isn’t defensible.” Solas continued before they could ask. “There is a keep deeper in this mountain range.” He turned and gestured behind him. “Ancient, but vacant. It passed through many hands over the years. It waits for a worthy cause to take its seat.”

“You found this in the Fade?” Adrianna asked, her voice tiny and tired.

Solas nodded and leaned on his staff. “It will need repairing, but… Survived the Conclave, sealed the Breach, brought down the mountainside, appeared out of the snow and now lead her people to a mysterious keep in the mountains? I’ve seen enough politics from my journeys into the Fade to see the past. I think this will make the legend.”

Adrianna snorted. “Yes, just finding the keep. That’s what’ll do it. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. It’s a great plan. Better than digging out Haven. We need somewhere safe.”

“And if we go further into the mountains we’ll be on the border of Orlais and Ferelden; neither side will be able to claim the Inquisition as theirs,” Cullen said.

“We can’t wait, but what will we do about Hawke?” Adrianna asked.

“He’s clever,” Cullen grunted. “He’ll figure it out. He’d just better not bring that Abomination with him.”

\---

Cullen snapped his mouth shut and pressed his lips together when Dorian approached their end of the table. He tapped Adrianna’s boot with his and gestured at the newcomer with his chin.

She bit back a sigh and rolled her eyes. Rather than looking up to acknowledge the flashy Tevinter mage, she shoveled another forkful of meat into her mouth.

Cullen followed suit, but that didn’t discourage Dorian.

“How is my favorite Inquisitor doing? Enjoying marital bliss now that the Breach is sealed?” Dorian slid onto the bench next to Adrianna and set his plate on the table with a clatter.

Adrianna continued to eat and ignore Dorian.

Cullen didn’t think it was necessary to completely ostracize one of their still-few allies, but he wasn’t about to undermine her intent in public.

“Now that’s just not polite. I didn’t realize Marcher Nobles were so rude.” Dorian’s voice was light and teasing.

“Don’t mistake me, Pavus. We are not friends. We are allies with a common goal. While I most certainly appreciate your help in Redcliffe, it did not make us bosom buddies. Corypheus may threaten all of Thedas now, but once he is gone Tevinter will still threaten Southern Thedas.” She snapped her hand out and grabbed his wrist, the joints in her gauntlet clinking.

“Well, I-”

She leaned over him and glared, effectively cutting off his protest. “Do I make myself clear?” Her lips kept moving after she said the words, but if she said anything else, Cullen couldn’t hear it.

Dorian responded too loudly, too obviously. “Well if you want to be a prejudiced, insular Inquisitor that’s your right! My dashing good looks and exceptional magical expertise know when they’re not wanted!”

The mage stalked away and Cullen swore he could see tiny motes of magic floating in his wake.

Cullen blinked at the scene and then turned back to Adrianna. “He’s a bit obvious, isn’t he?”

“His type is very common in Court. He knows what the Game is, and vaguely how to play, but he has no finesse. He doesn’t know how to work with others properly or balance different levels of trust.” Adrianna picked up her fork continued her meal in a much more refined fashion than she had started.

Suddenly all thumbs, Cullen tried to eat with the same delicate motions she used, but abandoned it after the peas slid off his fork a third time. “You said you hated being at Court, but every time you put on your Manners, it seems like you’re slipping into a comfortable coat.”

“The first time I played the Game in Val Royeaux I met a chevalier - a minor noble like myself. We became fast friends. Both familiar with the Game, but ill-equipped to handle Val Royeaux properly. We made a real game out of it, with points and such.” She grinned and let out a short laugh. “Nothing untoward. He was promised and his intended was the jealous sort.”

“Have you had Lelianna reach out to him?”

“Oh? No, he’s dead some years past. In the first ‘official’ skirmish of the civil war. He has a son or two, I think. Regardless, he wanted to enter the Grand Tourney, but with so many of the competition being his fellows from the barracks he asked me to help him practice other techniques.” She pushed her plate away from her.

“Done?”

Adrianna nodded and then waited for Cullen to come to her side of the table before standing and taking his arm. “I knew the basics of combat. Raymond is scarcely a year my senior and he could do nothing without me tagging along.” She paused. “Raymond is my brother, of course. The chevalier was Jean. He used an offensive shield technique, but as a child had trained with two-handed weapons. I was always partial to them, so we trained for hours and hours…”

“Will you be angry if I say I thoroughly enjoy watching you swing those giant weapons around?” He pulled on her arm and chuckled.

“You’re quite allowed, Husband.” She looked around. “Ah, good, and now we’re without an audience. I’ve already started hearing rumors about Dorian’s ‘influence’ over me.”

“He’s trustworthy.”

“I agree, but I don’t have the reputation to be friends with a Tevinter mage, yet. If Lelianna’s men are right, Hawke is expected to arrive tomorrow and that will strain things enough with the Templars that haven’t fallen victim to the red lyrium.”

Cullen tried to push the thought of his diseased brothers out of his mind. “Do you think Hawke will know much more than Varric?”

“Not directly about Corypheus… Varric said he could control Wardens and I saw Wardens attacking the Divine… All of the others in Southern Thedas have disappeared save Blackwall… The Abomination is still a Warden in his lucid moments and Hawke’s brother is a Warden as well. He’ll know more about what Corypheus is doing to the Wardens.” Her steps slowed to the same pace as her words.

They stop and turn to face each other directly. “You’re suspicious… Of Blackwall?”

“Not of his intentions with the Inquisition, but of his past… Yes.” She rubbed her face with her bare left hand. “I’ve always thought of Wardens as a bastion of reliability and purpose. My memories shake my faith.”

Cullen pushed a few escaped strands of her hair back up to her braid. “The fallout from this won’t end with Corypheus. Not only Wardens, but if it comes out that the Orb Corypheus used to create the Breach in the first place is of Elven make…”

“The Inquisition’s job only begins with Corypheus’s death.”

 

 


	4. Double-down On Aggravation

“Champion.” Adrianna greeted, tilting her head down. Her armor gleamed in the early afternoon light. Her bare left hand held a heavy roll of parchment. The green light from the Mark made it glow softly.

“Inquisitor.” Hawke held out his hand to Adrianna and after shaking hands slapped Cullen on the back hard enough to make his armor clang. “And good old Curly. Still fighting the good fight?” When Cullen only grunted in response, Hawke continued. “You know, I think bringing down the entire mountain on your base was a rather extreme way of uninviting me to your little Inquisition party.”

“And yet here you are, regardless.” Adrianna raised an eyebrow and grinned.

“We’re Kirkwall’s most famous and you didn’t even invite me to the wedding. I’m hurt. Wounded.” Hawke put a hand to his chest and leaned back from an imaginary blow.

“You were on the run. I thought it was rude to invite you to such a public event.” She pulled a string off of a thick roll of parchment and released the end, which fell to the ground and then trailed on for some feet. “I have some questions for you.”

Hawke eyed the parchment. “Now that’s just unkind, Inquisitor. I don’t invite you to my home and then give you work to do.”

“Then next time you find a Darkspawn magister, kill him properly.” She rolled up the scroll and handed it to him. “You’re a political nightmare, I hope you know.”

Hawke took the scroll and unrolled the first few inches, scanning Adrianna’s blocky handwriting. “I do try my best. You’re a whirlwind yourself. Half of the Free Marches is claiming Trevelyan blood at the moment.”

“We can’t all be Amells.”

“I don’t think that would help much. Everyone calls me Hawke.”

“With that beak for a nose, I can see why.”

With a laugh, Hawke turned to Cullen. “Do you hear your wife? She’s a cruel, cruel woman. I can see why you picked her.”

Cullen frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

Hawke grinned and it was decidedly wolfish. “Let’s find Varric and get better acquainted. I think we’ll get along well, Inquisitor. Even if your husband can’t do anything except stare disapprovingly.”

\----

“Now Junior-”

Adrianna cut Varric off. “I’m not a Seeker anymore. You should come up with a new nickname.”

“Now _Junior_ ,” Varric said, rolling his eyes when she laughed. “Let’s pretend for a minute I’m on board with this plan to kill a dragon, which I’m definitely not. One is enough for this dwarf. Anyway, pretending that, are you sure Curly’s okay with this plan?”

“Of course he isn’t,” Adrianna said as she dismounted. She tied the reins to a sturdy piece of flotsam on the Storm Coast’s beach. “That’s why I didn’t tell him.”

“Atta girl,” The Iron Bull said. He tied his gelding up next to her mare.

“You know you only have to tie one up. They want to stay together, so they won’t go anywhere.” Adrianna said when Bull kneeled to tie his own up.

“I know, Boss, but once the dragon starts yelling they might spook.” The Iron Bull stood and clapped her on the shoulder, successfully buckling her knees.

“Ugh. My armor weighs enough without you doing that, thank you very much.”

“Why are we even attempting this?” Dorian asked. “I think we have enough on our plates with the Wardens, the Red Templars and the Venatori. Why don’t we avoid provoking one of the few things in Thedas not trying to kill us.”

“Dragon blood.” Adrianna answered.

“Dragon scales.” The Iron Bull said.

“Dragon teeth.”

“Dragon webbing.”

“Dragon-”

“Yes, yes, I get it, I get it.” Dorian sighed and pulled on his pauldron, trying to cover up any remaining bare skin. “The pieces are all very valuable.”

“Come on, Sparkler, you just handed them that one. I don’t know what you were expecting. You put a man in heavy armor and all they want to do is kill things.” Varric tied his pony next to the horses and pulled Bianca off his back.

“Shouldn’t we have brought someone with a nice, big shield to deflect the fire with?” Dorian moaned.

Adrianna pulled the Inquisition great-sword off her back and ran her bare left hand over the dragon-decorated wrist guard. After a moment, she seemed to snap out of a daze and turned to Dorian. “You’re the great mage. Just nullify the flames.”

“You say that like it’s easy!”

“Oh.” She lowered the sword and frowned at him. “I thought you were the most powerful mage in the Inquisition. I guess I have to go back to Skyhold and get Madame de Fer.”

“You’re just baiting me!” Dorian all but stamped his foot in the sand.

“And it’s working. Look at the little Vint getting all fired up. It’s cute.” The Iron Bull said before chuckling and drawing his great-axe.

“How dare you-”

“Yeah, now you’re red in the face. Nice look with your skin tone. Hard to capture.”

“You-”

“Ladies, ladies, you’re both pretty.” Adrianna interrupted. She hefted the sword high into the air and gestured down the coast. “Now let’s go. The dragon is waiting.”

“Look, I’m just going to say this right up front. When we get back to Skyhold with the dragon bits and Seeker Prime and Curly are out for blood, I was firmly against this plan.”

\----

“...Is that a crown of dragon teeth?” Was the first thing out of Hawke’s mouth when he met with Adrianna on his return to Skyhold.

“Dragon _ling_ teeth, technically, but yes. Cullen was already mad about me killing the dragon without telling him, so I decided to double-down on flaunting my prize.” Adrianna touched the vicious teeth poking out of her braid on the crown of her head.

“Are you sure you’re happy with Curly? I think we’d make a great couple.” Hawke said, smirking wide enough to split his face.

“The Apostate Champion and the Seeker Inquisitor? I can see it.” Adrianna stroked her cheek, as if seriously considering it.

Varric piped up, “Oh _now_ you’re a Seeker. You can’t have it both ways, Junior.”

“The Heroes are having a moment. Do you really need to interrupt them?” Dorian asked.

“Enough from the peanut gallery,” Adrianna said. “All right, Hawke. What do you have for me?”

“All of the Grey Wardens in Southern Thedas are hearing the Calling. So we have an army of skilled Darkspawn warriors all convinced that they’re dying. All at once. Meaning there will be no one left to kill any Archdemon that shows up.”

“So the Abomination, Carver, _Hero of Ferelden_?”

“Anders has a name, you know.”

“Wait. What do you mean there won’t be anyone to kill an Archdemon? Is there some rule that says only Grey Wardens can kill Archdemons?”

The silence in the room only became more ominous as Hawke pulled on the collar of his undershirt. “Yes. Mostly. If you or I were to kill an Archdemon, its ‘soul’ would pass to the nearest Darkspawn which would then become the next Archdemon.” He coughed. “Wardens are tainted by the Blight. When they kill an Archdemon, they’re the nearest Blighted creature, so they take the soul, but unlike Darkspawn they have their own souls, so they just… cancel out, I suppose? The Warden dies and so does the Archdemon.”

“But the Hero of Ferelden killed an Archdemon and as far as I know, he’s still alive.” Adrianna said, leading towards Hawke.

“He is still alive,” Lelianna said from the doorway. She shut the door behind her with a whisper and sat adjacent to Adrianna and Hawke. “I’ve just received a letter from him. He’s hearing the Calling, as well. He was trying to find a way to cure the taint or at least prevent the Calling in Wardens when he started hearing it.”

“Do _you_ have an explanation for why he’s still alive and we’re not still in the middle of the Fifth Blight?”

“There were special circumstances. We had an apostate with us who performed a ritual that transferred the Archdemon’s soul into another vessel. A terrible decision. I can scarcely believe he agreed to it. If he’d told me before, I would have-”

“Obviously, that’s why he didn’t tell you.” Hawke interjected.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Adrianna said. She shot to her feet and paced around her office, kicking up the carpet and clipping the desk in her agitation. “Corypheus can control Wardens, _somehow_ , probably via the taint. Hawke and Varric definitely killed him very dead, except that they did it in a _Warden_ prison, surrounded by _tainted_ creatures.”

Hawke hissed in a sharp breath. “You think he can transfer himself into a Warden the same way an Archdemon can transfer into a Darkspawn?”

“Wardens are too alive for an Archdemon to use as a vessel, but Corypheus is some form of alive, so it would make sense.” Adrianna pulled at the dragonling teeth in her hair.

“If that’s true, how are we supposed to kill him? Just ask him very politely not to possess anyone else this time?” Dorian asked.

“We can’t afford to worry about that now.” Lelianna said.

“She’s right,” Hawke agreed. “Warden Commander Clarel has recalled everyone to the Western Approach. There are old Warden strongholds there that they could use as a staging ground. Forget the demon army you saw in the future, Corypheus has a real Warden army forming up _right now_.”

Adrianna slammed her hand on her desk, and the Anchor on her hand lit up with the flare in her emotions. “And what can we do about it? Slaughter them? If they think they’re dying, they think they have nothing to lose, assuming they’re not being controlled directly like the ones who attacked Most Holy. If we want to stop them, we have to cut off the head of the beast.”

“Junior, we don’t know _how_. We kill Corypheus and he’s just going to possess another Warden.” Varric said.

“So the only way this ends is with the entire Warden Order decimated? Are you okay with that? With Carver and _Anders_ dying? Because for all we know there’s no limit on his ability to possess Wardens.”

“If he even can. All we have is theory and conjecture.” Dorian argued.

Adrianna raised her voice. “Where’s the apostate that helped you and the Hero of Ferelden? We’ll just have him make another vessel.”

“We still don’t know the consequences of her creating the first vessel. It’s too risky, even if we could get her to agree.”

The door leading to her bedroom slammed open, the wood creaking dangerously as it swung on its hinges after the impact with the wall. “Enough!” Cullen shouted over the arguing. “We can’t do anything until we have more information and frankly I’m done listening to this. You know the argument is just going to keep going in circles until we know more. Break it up before you all leave this room enemies.”

“Cullen is right,” Lelianna said into the resulting silence. “We’ll do what we can to get more information and in the meantime deal with other matters. Hawke, if you’d come with me, you can give my people some more information to start with.”

Hawke nodded and followed Lelianna out. Varric and Dorian filed out shortly after, leaving Adrianna alone with her husband.

She sighed and locked the outside door before walking over to Cullen. “The more we learn, the more impossible this all seems. They expect me to have all of the answers and make the decisions, but then they _argue_ when they don’t like what they hear.”

“I don’t think slaughtering all of the Wardens is the right choice, either, but I also have no idea how we’re supposed to kill Corypheus. I know we don’t have a lot of time, but we can’t run in blindly.” He rubbed her cheek with his knuckles before plucking the dragonling teeth out of her hair. “You look ridiculous with these.”

“I look _fierce_.”

“The sword makes you look fierce. These trophies make you look wild. Like something out of a Chasind legend.”

“But you _like_ wild.”

“Perhaps so much so that you shouldn’t dress like this in public.” He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. “Come to bed with me. You can worry about the rest of the world in the morning.”

\---

Josephine pulled Adrianna aside before she could enter the warroom. “Inquisitor, I know you’re focused on Corypheus and would rather attack him directly, but if we do not stop his machinations in the meantime, there might not be anything left in Southern Thedas to save.”

Adrianna sighed and leaned against the Ambassador’s desk. “I know. We need to do something about the Warden and demon armies.”

Josephine scratched a few notes on her parchment. “There is that, yes, but we must also foil the assassination of Empress Celene. “ She continued despite Adrianna’s groan. “The Grand Duchess is holding peace talks at the Winter Palace. It will be the perfect opportunity for the assassin to strike.”

Adrianna said nothing else, just waved for Josephine to follow. In the warroom, she leaned against the table and stared at the operation markers. A collection of markers signifying Lelianna’s agents sat clustered in the Western Approach. A shiny button with a falcon signifying Hawke sat in the middle.

When Cullen and Lelianna filed in, Josephine spoke again. “As I was just telling the Inquisitor, Halam’shiral is a prime opportunity for an assassin to get to Empress Celene.”

“Will you be able to secure us an invitation?” Lelianna asked, eyes dashing across the table.

“It will be difficult, but I can manage it.”

“I hope you’re not going to try and get out of this, Adrianna.”

“I love Halam’shiral, I just think we have other priorities. Can’t we just send a handful of your agents?”

“Aside from stopping the assassination, the Inquisition needs to be a visible presence. Furthermore… You wanted to discuss the ritual the apostate used to kill the Archdemon without sacrificing the life of the Hero of Ferelden. She’ll be there.”

Adrianna sighed and pushed away from the table. “What issues can we expect in regards to our marriage.” She gestured between herself and Cullen.

Josephine tapped her lips with the end of her quill. “You can expect a certain amount of suitors will proposition you and try for your attention, despite being married. The Commander’s prestige has also increased more than anticipated. There will be no shortage of women trying to garner favor.”

“If the story is that we are madly in love and married because the world was ending, _why_ would they want to pursue him? That doesn’t make any sense.” Adrianna fidgeted and shifted her weight from foot to foot.

“Clearly you have been away from court for too long, Adrianna. They know the lengths he was willing to go to for _you_ ,” Lelianna began.

“So they can only daydream about what he might do for _them_.” Josephine finished.

“You were waiting to say that,” Cullen accused.

“How could you suggest such a thing, Commander!” Josephine said, her voice pitched on the high end of scandalized.

“Be nice, Josie, he might think you’re serious.”

Adrianna scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. “Can we get back to business? I’m sure you’ll both have ample time to tease us about this later.” She hovered her hand over the Western Approach. “What have we learned about the Warden situation?”

“There was a group of Grey Wardens seen approaching the Ritual Tower with a Tevinter Magister in tow. Hawke will meet you there to intercept them. The rest seem to be gathering at Adamant Fortress.”

Cullen rubbed his chin and leaned over the map. “The ancient Warden stronghold. The construction is solid, but built before modern siege equipment… Which we don’t have, though.”

“I should be able to acquire some for us. It would be easier if we had more Orlesian allies.”

“Yes, Josephine, I’ll go to the Winter Palace. You don’t have to keep poking me.” Adrianna rubbed her face. “We’ll see what’s going on at the Ritual Tower, but I’m afraid the name tells us all we need to know.”

\---

“Blackwall.”

Blackwall almost dropped his chisel as he started. “Inquisitor. I didn’t hear you coming.”

Adrianna stepped into the barn and ran her hand along the worktable. After a moment she sighed and sat on one of the hay bales. She gestured to one adjacent. “Sit. Please.”

“Of course. What do you need, Inquisitor?”

“Some answers.” She pulled the great-sword off of her back and held in her lap. She ran a single finger from her left hand over the dragons there. “You said you competed in the Grand Tourney and that a chevalier helped you win and offered you a place. The implication I got. The one you intended me to get is that you became a Grey Warden instead. But you weren’t trained by the Wardens. You’re a chevalier, through and through.”

Blackwall looked down at his hands and didn’t respond.

“When I asked if you heard the Calling, you were evasive. Said you fought regardless. Tell me, Blackwall, do you know what the Calling is?” She ran her hand along the flat of the blade and stared at him.

Again, no response.

She bit back a sigh. “When I still attended Court, I was good friends with a young man named Delacroix. Jean Delacroix was a talented chevalier, as was his older brother Marc.”

Blackwall winced.

“Lelianna’s people are _very_ good. Once I told them my suspicions they were able to put the pieces together.” She tapped the fingers of her right gauntlet against the blade.

“You’re right Inquisitor. I’ve lied to you, I’m sorry.” He slipped off of the hay bale and kneeled before her. “I accept whatever punishment you have for me.”

“First, confirm for me, your real name.”

“Thom Rainier, Your Worship,” he said, head bowed.

Adrianna stood then and raised the Inquisitor’s sword. “As leader of the Inquisition, I now judge Thom Rainier for the crimes committed against the Inquisition, the Empire of Orlais, and the men that served under him. The punishment is death.” With a practiced motion, she swung the heavy sword until it lodged into the thick wooden flooring.

Blackwall, Thom Rainier, looked up at her, the blade not even an inch away from his neck.

“Thom Rainier died here today, after confessing his crimes to Warden-Constable Blackwall, under the supervision of the Left Hand of the Divine.” Adrianna sighed and relaxed her posture before picking up her sword and sitting back down. “We believe Thom Rainier’s confession and admission that his men didn’t know the truth of the situation should be enough for the Orlesians to drop the charges against the men that served under you.”

“It shouldn’t be this easy. I need to-”

“Thom Rainier is dead. He doesn’t need to do anything.” She tossed a shining silver badge onto the floor in front of him. “The Inquisition needs a high ranking Warden that can’t be controlled by Corypheus.”

“I don’t deserve this.”

“No, you don’t. But Blackwall did. This is the least you can do.”

\---

“Do you know anything about Erimond, Dorian?” Adrianna asked while cleaning the blood off of the crossguard of her great-sword. She frowned as the cloth caught on seemingly every tooth and scale on each of the metal dragons.

“Nothing you didn’t just see for yourself. Sniveling, whiny, thinks he’s more important than he is.” Dorian ticked each trait off on his fingers. “Pretty typical of the lower-level magisters, actually. Except for the whole Venatori bit.”

“We’re going to need an army to get to him at Adamant,” said Varric.

“They’ll need to start moving as soon as we can get word out, but it’ll take time, especially moving the siege engines across all of Orlais.” Adrianna tossed the rag away and swung the sword over her back.

“That’s great, Junior. It’ll give you and Curly just enough time to go make a scene at the Winter Palace.”

“Thanks Varric. I almost forgot.” She reached under her breast plate and pulled out a bound stack of letters. “Josephine and Lelianna haven’t said a thing about it!”

“No need to be sassy, Junior.”

“Oh, I think there is. Go make yourself useful and talk Cole into disrupting Erimond as much as possible. We need as much time as we can get.” Adrianna shoved the letters back into her armor and kicked sand at Varric until he got up and followed her instructions.

“You will be taking me to the Winter Palace, won’t you?” Dorian said, making puppy eyes at her.

“Tired of roughing it with us southerners?”

“As quaint as I find these barbaric conditions, I could use something that feels like home.”

“We’ll see about that, Dorian. We’ll see.”


	5. Modern Warfare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wat.

“They just trap me! Standing in a huddle, tittering about this or that. These are ladies, Adi. Ladies of the Court and all they want to hear is the bloody, gorey details of every fight I’ve ever been in.” Cullen said. He stood behind her, big fingers working the tiny buttons of her replacement dress.

Adrianna wiped the few remaining blood splatters off of her stylized dragon mask. “They’re bored. They have nothing but needlepoint to do. They don’t know not to ask.” She threw the cleaning rag onto the torn and bloody mess that was her original dress. _Thank the Maker Lelianna thought to bring replacements._

“What am I supposed to do? Recount my nightmare to them? They won’t leave me alone, no matter how many times I assert that I have _you_ and am not the least interested.” Cullen finished the last button and sighed. He trailed his fingers along the side of her neck and then down across the silky fabric covering the back of her corset.

“Make up a story about valiantly fighting a dragon. Tell them that’s where we got the scales for my mask.” She turned around and smoothed the front of his jacket before straightening his sash. “It’ll give them something to swoon over without giving them the chance to assume you’re propositioning them.”

“Wife, have you confused me with Varric?”

“Of course not. It doesn’t have to be a good story. Actually, make it as ridiculous as possible. These women are thicker than porridge.” She leaned back and looked at him with a critical eye. “There, you’re presentable again.”

“I’m not the one who decided to go fight assassins in a ball gown.” He tilted her mask up. “You’re lucky they wear these ridiculous things or else you’d have to have Josephine and Lelianna in here redoing your hair and makeup every time you get into trouble.”

“We’re just lucky the blood on the petticoats isn’t soaking through. We don’t have extras of those.”

He leaned in and gave her a brief kiss on the lips. “We don’t have any extras of _you_. Stay safe. Well, as much as you can. No one is safe in Orlais.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

Adrianna pulled his hand down. “You need to stop that, Cullen. It’s a _very_ obvious tell of yours. If the Orlesians think you’re uncomfortable _here_ , they won’t trust your judgement on the battlefield.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Cullen threw his hands up. “They’re not at all related.”

“Of course they aren’t. Orlesians are _incredibly_ ridiculous. If I have to play the Game, so do you. No more rubbing your neck until we’re safe back at Skyhold.” She took his hands and squeezed them. “We need to defeat Corypheus, but we can’t leave Southern Thedas in massive political turmoil once it’s over.”

“Neither Gaspard nor Celene has an heir. Ferelden has no heir. The Free Marches have been organized chaos, at best, for years. The Qunari have already made one foray into Southern Thedas with Kirkwall. Massive political turmoil is all we’ll have regardless of what happens tonight.” Cullen said, frowning.

“Interesting to see you have not lightened up at all since Kinloch.”

Cullen spun at the new voice. “You’re the Witch of the Wilds.”

“Now that is something I have not been called in a long time,” the beautiful, dark-haired woman said. “You may call me Morrigan. Lelianna informed me that you wanted to speak, Inquisitor.”

Cullen saw the muscles in Adrianna’s jaw clench under the rim of the mask. “You’re the apostate who found a way around the required death for killing an Archdemon.”

“That I am,” Morrigan said, giving a shallow bow.

“You certainly picked a time at your own convenience to show yourself,” Adrianna responded, voice tight.

“What ever could you-” Morrigan interrupted herself at the sound of a bell tolling through the Winter Palace. “Oh my, I do believe we must return to the ballroom.”

Cullen offered Adrianna his arm and tried not to smile as she muttered about the insufferability of mages while they were still unwatched.

\---------

“Varric.”

“Yes Curly?” The dwarf answered, not even looking up from his crossbow.

“You helped my wife kill another dragon,” Cullen said, arms crossed across his chest and a frown deepening the lines on his face.

“Junior doesn’t really take no for an answer. If she doesn’t listen to you when you tell her not to kill the big giant animal of electric death, what makes you think she’ll listen to me?”

“You don’t have to _help_ her with it.”

“We’ve only got one Anchor, Curly. You can always get a new wife, but if she dies playing around with a dragon, we’ll all fucked.” Varric dropped his polishing rag and hefted Bianca over his shoulder. “I’m just keeping her alive, for all our sakes.”

Cullen’s frown deepened, but he couldn’t form a decent argument. “Could you at least convince her not to use dragonling skulls as decoration on her armor?”

“She’s just baiting you. Maybe if you satisfied her a little more, she wouldn’t do either of those things.”

Cullen’s face burned red. “That’s highly inappropriate.”

“Don’t get mad at me for being right.” The dwarf shrugged. “After we rout Adamant, how about you pin her down and-”

“I’m not listening!” Cullen said at the top of his voice as he made an abrupt retreat.

\--------

Corypheus’s dragon screeched as it flew overhead. Despite his training, Cullen looked up and saw the massive creature swoop down over where he knew Adrianna was fighting Erimond and Clarel. His wife’s blue and white armor made her identifiable, even from the opposite side of the keep.

However, his distraction cost him, and an ensorcelled Warden pierced through the shoulder joint of his armor with a pike. Cullen cried out involuntarily, even as he struck his attacker down. His wife’s figure spun to face him, though there was no way she could have heard him over the din of battle and the screeching dragon over-

“No!” He shouted, as the dragon swooped down on Adrianna and her companions. The stone crumbled beneath their feet and he watched her fall out of sight. With a heavy swing of his sword, he shattered the pole of the pike in his left shoulder. Rage and despair fueled him as Cullen lashed his shield to his left arm and then both to his breastplate.

They would _not_ win this day.

\----

Weak from blood loss, Cullen knelt in the bloody courtyard. Inquisition forces had subdued the remaining Wardens. No one came to inform him of his wife’s death. Maybe they didn’t know. Maybe they didn’t want to say anything until they’d found her body in the rubble. It didn’t matter. He knew. She was gone and with her the Anchor. _Though I can’t honestly say I’m upset about_ that _. Without her, Thedas may as well burn around me._

A whooshing, tearing sound that made his teeth hurt heralded the rift opening not a meter from him. Cullen bowed his head, helmet clanking against the shield still strapped to his chest. Blood from his shoulder dripped down the inside of his shield and pooled on the ground.

He squeezed his eyes shut and then forced his tired, battered body to stand. _At least I’ll die in the same battle. Then I won’t have to live the rest of this nightmare knowing I should have been at her side._ Cullen raised his sword, ready to strike at the first demon to spill out of the rift.

“Varric?!”

“Whoa, Curly, put that thing down, you’re going to take an eye out.”

The sword fell from Cullen’s suddenly numb fingers. With dragging, scraping steps he moved closer to the rift. One by one, Adrianna’s companions fell out of the green light. Blackwall and Dorian were followed by Hawke and the Stroud. “Adi?” The nickname came out hoarse and broken.

But she didn’t emerge. A minute, then two, and then the rift began to shrink.

“No. No!” He spun on her companions. “Where is she? How could you leave her behind!”

Not one responded. The keep felt deathly silent as he stared down at them. “You left her behind!”

Varric and Dorian both winced at the accusation.

“Look, Curly-”

“I am looking! All I see are the men who left my wife behind to die and doomed Thedas just to save their own skins!”

The rift closed behind him and the shockwave sent him to his knees. Cullen’s armor clanked and clanged as it hit the stone, but there was no mirroring sound from behind him. Adrianna had _not_ made it out in the last moments before it closed. It was over. Everything the Inquisition had fought for was over without her.

“So this is how it ends,” Cullen heard Blackwall say.

He shook his head, unable to form words.

\----

Silenced reigned on the march back to Skyhold. Bandages bound Cullen’s left arm tightly to his chest to keep him from upsetting the wound in his shoulder. The Breach in the sky taunted every plodding step his horse took. They’d won the battle at Adamant, but the war was over.

Like the nightmare Adrianna and Dorian saw at Redcliffe, the sky would soon be overtaken by the Breach, if Corypheus didn’t slaughter every last member of the Inquisition first.

One of his scouts appeared on the horizon, his horse’s gait at a fast trot. _Bad news, but not an emergency. Compared to our looming deaths nothing really seems like an emergency anymore_. Regardless of his morbid thoughts, Cullen made an effort to sit straighter while he waited for the scout to reach him.

“Commander.”

“Report.”

“There’s a rift ahead. Without- Ah, that is, we’ll have to go around. A kilometer or more, to be safe with the wounded. The demons shouldn’t be able to see us over these dunes.”

“Are we clear on the North side?”

“From all reports, sir.”

Cullen nodded. “Inform the others, then.” He dismissed the scout with a nod and silently gestured to those riding around him. With slow care, he changed his mount’s direction. No one commented to tried to speak with him. It was a wonder he’d been able to speak with the scout at all. His throat was tight and his mouth dry.

They made camp some three kilometers from the rift. The wagons for the wounded stood in a circle around the main campfire, a poor attempt at keeping the wind from tearing at the Inquisition tents. Cullen wasn’t tired. He wasn’t even sure he’d slept since Adamant. Whenever he closed his eyes, he just saw cursed green light.

Without his heavy armor and ostentatious pauldrons, no one recognized him as he walked out of the camp. Or more likely, they knew well enough to leave him alone to his grief. He walked out into the desert. The wind slashed sand against his face and tore at his clothes, but he felt numb to it all. His feet sunk into the sand with every step, but he continued, undeterred, even without purpose.

Cullen sighed when he summited a dune only to see the rift glowing fiercely, its green light cancelling out the moon overhead. No demons guarded it, but from their place in the Fade, they could probably sense there was nothing to attack.

Weaponless, armorless, delirious from grief and loss of blood, Cullen approached the rift. His brain couldn’t find a reason to justify his suicide. It didn’t bother trying, it just took the backseat as his body staggered closer.

At ten meters, the rift reacted to his presence, the glow intensifying into a blinding light and the tear expanding upwards and outwards until it was large enough for him to walk into. No demons exited. Cullen stepped closer until he felt the distortion in the air against his face. He raised his shaking right hand and stuck it in the rift.

He had just instructed his legs to step in after it when a vice-like grip clamped onto his hand. Fear and regret took over. _She’d never forgive me for throwing my life away. For letting them win without a fight_. He jerked his arm back, but lacked the strength to free himself. He dug his feet into the sand and pulled with all of his might. Cullen felt his arm begin to pull out of its socket when suddenly the resistance gave way and he fell backwards into the sand.

The rift flared and the light from it blinded him, increasing his disorientation. He blinked and saw only blackness. He struggled to get back to his feet, but felt himself weighed down, trapped in the sand. With a pained sigh, he gave up, stopped struggling. As his muscles relaxed, he felt the exhaustion take over.

\---

Cullen woke to dawn’s light piercing through his eyelids. Again, he tried to get up, but his arms and legs refused to respond, hold down by impossible resistance. He groaned. _And now what little resources and hope the Inquisition had left will be spent trying to find me._

A moment later, he heard his groan echo back. _That… makes no sense_. He opened his eyes again to the lightening sky. He moved his head as much as he could, but saw nothing that would reflect the sound back. “Is this what it feels like to die?”

“I always imagined it’d be more peaceful and less sandy.”

“...What?” He asked, as his brain tried and failed to process.

The paralyzing weight lifted off his chest and legs and not even a moment later, Adrianna’s face, dirty and too pale, appeared in front of his eyes.

“I thought I made it out of the Fade, but if you’re dead…” Her voice was hoarse and it took her too long to say the words, but it was definitely Adrianna.

“I don’t… What? How?” His voice broke on the last word and he sobbed.

She pressed her cheek against his. “Spirits. Compassion, like Cole, form of the Divine. Faith, the one that blesses the Seekers.”

Cullen cried and held her with his right arm.

“I can’t really move. I don’t think you can either. Are they close?”

Cullen couldn’t respond. The weight that held him down was now so obviously, so wonderfully Adrianna in her armor. He grasped her as tightly as he could.

“I hope they are,” she said before shifting over him. After a moment, a blinding green pillar of shot from her arm. She pulsed the light a few times, trying to signal the others. She slumped on him again, exhausted from the effort. “That had best have been enough.”

 

 


	6. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we have to warn for Trespasser spoilers? I don't think so.

“Inquisitor, where are we going?”

Adrianna looked over her shoulder at the bald apostate. He rode his horse barely a length behind her and the slowly swirling snowflakes avoided him completely - like magic. She frowned at him and continued in silence, leading him deeper into the mountains. As the sun set, hidden early by the surrounding peaks, she dismounted and carefully lead her mare into a cave.

Solas didn’t complain, but Adi felt the weight of his stare on her as she unloaded her pack and the saddle from her horse. She took her time brushing the animal down before attaching a feedbag and blindfold. She held one out to Solas.

His considering stare didn’t change as he took the blindfold and applied it to his own mount. The hart shifted his weight from hoof to hoof and made soft complaints into his feedbag. Solas comforted him in elven before stepping up to Adrianna.

“What is this about?”

Adi stood nearly on top of him before blasting the cave with a wave of magic from the anchor. She looked into his face, but whatever she found there didn’t change her expression before she took a step back and gestured to him. “If Lelianna has agents following us, put them to sleep.”

The elf raised an eyebrow, but waved his hand in an odd motion before nodding to her. “I am very curious.”

She opened her mouth, but closed it without speaking. She paced back and forth in the open space, her hand glowing bright enough to illuminate her.

“Inquisitor…”

She stopped and stepped up to him again, pressing the anchor into his chest before releasing a new blast of magic. 

Solas was unmoved - the magic washed around him with no effect. “What are you-”

“It’s  _ yours _ ,” Adi said. The muscles in her jaw worked as she clenched her teeth. “ _ That’s _ why I punched you. The orb is  _ yours _ . This magic, the Breach: it’s all you. I  _ felt _ you and you felt like the anchor, so I punched you.”

Solas sighed and put his hand on her wrist, lowering her arm. “This has been very-”

“Don’t start with me. You,  _ you _ better than anyone should know how time passes in the Fade. I was stuck there. Trapped with the Nightmare. And once it was dead? No respite. Fear. Loneliness. Madness. Then when I couldn’t be taken? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Just me and the Fade and my mind and the  _ anchor _ .”

“After Redcliffe-”

“I will let you speak when you tell the truth! You and… This. You are one. This is you. But Corypheus is not. Something went wrong. Tell me what you are and I won’t blame you for the Breach.”

 

Solas stared at her for so long that the active magic in the anchor winked out, leaving them in darkness. He fussed and conjured veilfire to hover in the air between them. Outside, what had been light snowfall in the dusk had turned into a howling blizzard in the night. 

They stared at each other, two iron wills ready to wait out whatever may come. Eventually Solas shook his head. “You’re not well. I shouldn’t have let you leave Sky-”

Adrianna raised her right hand and snapped her fingers into a fist.

Solas gasped as the Seeker ability clawed at his magic, the very fabric of his being, drawing it tight, constricting to a single point.

“Our abilities are to control the lyrium within mages and templars, but I’ve had months to gain control of this magic,  _ your _ magic in the anchor. You need it, just as Corypheus does, or you would have let it kill me.”

“Adrianna-”

“I found  _ Vir Dirthara _ !” she shouted, releasing her hold on the magic.

“Then you know what I am!” Solas answered, his power snapping and lashing at her.

Adrianna didn’t flinch, even as the magic tore at her armor and sliced open the skin of her face. “What is your goal, Fen’Harel?” When she said his title, it was as if a long dead elvhen spirit was speaking through her mouth.

“I have to undo it. I destroyed everything. All of it. Crumbled to dust. My people… Gone. Not dead, ruined.” His words began calm, but burned hot with conviction.

“Removing the Veil will fix nothing.”

“I have to try!”

Adrianna held out her left hand, the anchor glowing softly. “Can you remove it?”

“No.” Solas didn’t break eye contact.

“Corypheus could not create another for himself. Could you? With the Orb?”

Solas frowned, the light of the veilfire shining bright contrast on his expression. The storm howled outside the cave, the occasional flurry sweeping past them. “Maybe. I can find a way to do it without the anchor, if it comes to that.”

Adi nodded. “And with the Orb, I couldn’t stop you.”

“Could you now? Truly?”

“It’s not a gamble I’m willing to make.”

Solas gestured to the cave. “Then what’s the point of all this? To acknowledge what we already knew? That we need each other?”

“I don’t need you.”

Solas laughed at her; the sound was bitter and hollow. “You know better than that.”

She shrugged, making a fist around the anchor. “I do, but there was a chance you’d admit to why.”

Solas shook his head and laughed, a sound of real mirth that seemed to surprise himself. “You are something I never expected to find here. In this world without the Fade where everyone may as well be Tranquil.”

Adrianna held out her hand with the glowing anchor again. “Short of destroying the Veil itself, I will do what you need done. I will do it and keep your secrets. I won’t interfere. For a price.”

The anchor glowed with fierce intensity as Solas brought one of his hands to it. He watched it for a moment before looking at her. “And the price?”

“You leave the Veil intact for the rest of my life. And Cullen’s, should he survive me.”

Solas lifted an eyebrow. “Let me guess. And your son’s? What about his? How many of your generations do you expect me to wait for one of compliance?”

Adrianna held her gauntleted right hand over her abdomen. “Just ours. Mortals weren’t meant to spend time in the Fade. I’m broken.”

“And if you’re fixed?”

“Not possible. If I were a mage… But wishes help no one. Do you accept?” Her voice was more resignation than sadness.

“You’d trust a deal made with the Trickster?”

“These  _ elves _ aren’t your People. Your true People can wait a generation. You already have Tevinter and the Qun to contend with. You don’t want the Inquisition as well.”

“We’ll imagine I threatened to silence you now. You then revealed you planned for that. We debated back and forth with plenty of threats and posturing, scaring our mounts senseless…” He made an ‘on and on’ gesture to which Adi nodded. Solas closed his hand over hers bearing the anchor. “It’s still killing you. I can’t promise I can fix that with the Orb.”

“I know.”   
  


\----

  
  


“Adi…” Cassandra said, her hand on Adrianna’s arm.

Adrianna paused before turning to her once mentor. She tried to school her features to erase the despair. Cass knew her well, but was easier to fool than Cullen. “Yes? Is this about the Temple of Mythal?”

“No, it’s- We’ve had the report about Caer Oswin for- I thought we-” Cassandra’s own expression crumpled as Adi lost control of her emotions.

_ I can’t believe I forgot to tell her..! _ She held out her hand, but dropped it before touching her friend. Physical contact since the Fade had been… “I knew Adamant would be trying. I had Lelianna send people to Caer Oswin before we left.”

“But there was no-”

“Before A- Before, I told her to give me the report privately. I would give the news to you; either way. I’m sorry.  _ Lucius _ ,” she spat out the name like a curse, “handed our brothers to the Promisers.”

Melt clanged against stone as Cassandra fell to her knees. “That can’t- We were always so spread out. Surely some still live. Surely.”

The Inquisition greatsword felt heavy on Adrianna’s back. She knew Cassandra, knew what her friend would want, but she still hesitated to twist the knife, especially when her voice sounded so hollow and monotone. She pressed on. “I personally wrote the letter sent with… Daniel’s personal effects.”

Cassandra howled her grief.

Adi’s heart twisted, seeing her friend so broken. Her own face was twisted so fiercely with her own grief that the muscles hurt, but she had no tears left. Her words couldn’t carry the feelings anymore. She felt like a puppet - all the right movements, but no feeling, no heart. “Lelianna compiled the list for me. Of who’s… left. And where they should be found. I’ll have it given to you.”

On the floor of the smithy, Cassandra flinched as if each word were a blow. Adrianna left before she could make matters any worse.

She shut the door behind her and heard Cole voicing her disjointed thoughts. 

“ _ Am I even allowed to grieve? If I’m the one burning the world, am I allowed to be sad? Empty. There’s nothing left. No future. I should have stayed _ .” Cole tipped his head back to see her from under her hat. “Why do you do it, if you think it’s wrong?”

Adrianna sighed and rubbed her dry eyes with her bare left hand. “My duty is to stop Corypheus. What comes after is for others. I don’t have it in me to fight anymore. I’ve lost too much to care what happens to others.”

“But you do care.”

“Enough to try and change his mind. Not enough to fight.” She chuckled, but there was no mirth in it. “And I have to admit, I wouldn’t mind some slave uprisings if that’s what he wants to do before destroying the world.”

“ _ He doesn’t know what he’s doing. No one in power ever knows. They just do their best and watch. _ Maybe it won’t destroy the world?”

She clapped him on the shoulder. “We can hope, can’t we?”

 

\----

 

Adrianna snarled as awareness of her presence in the Fade solidified in her mind. As she spun to face Solas, her shining greataxe appeared in her hands. “This had best be relevant.”

“And necessary. Unless you want Lelianna eavesdropping.” He raised his eyebrows with a mild expression.

She made a disgusted sound and the axe disappeared, though she kept her agitated posture. “I’d prefer to never again feel the Fade.” She paused, baring her teeth. “But I acknowledge the necessity of dragging me from my dreams.”

“It’s unlikely Corypheus seeks the Eluvian.” 

  
Adrianna closed her eyes and when they opened she and Solas were surrounded by her memory of the fractured library. She staggered to the nearest shelf, running the anchor over the spines. “What was the temple in the Arbor Wilds called?”

Solas waved his hand, shooing the memories of the library away. “You need not press yourself to remember. He seeks the Well of Sorrows.” Though he made no motion, Skyhold’s courtyard materialized around them. 

Adi slumped to the ground with a heavy clank as her armor crashed together. “Yes. Well of Sorrows. What is that?”

“All of the knowledge of her servants, preserved as they died.”

Adi held out her left hand again and the broken bookshelves began to shimmer back into existence until Solas slashed out his arm. “Focus, Inquisitor.”

“On a scale of one to fucked, how bad would it be if he got to Vir Dirthara? Even if he’s not after  _ this  _ Eluvian, he still wants to get to the Crossroads, where the Veil is thinner…”

Solas rubbed his chin, considering, though not for long. “He’s running out of resources and, by all reports, we can expect to eliminate Samson here in the Wilds. Corypheus acquiring the Well or the information stored in Vir Dirthara is only as bad as what he hopes to learn from them. If it’s how to enter the Fade…”

“Both predate the Veil.”

“Exactly. However, there is great knowledge of how we fought our wars. His power is limited; he cannot fully take advantage of my orb and he is just  _ one _ man. Elvhen war magic would be bad in his hands, but not significantly worse than his ability to open rifts wherever he pleases.”

Some tension left Adrianna’s body then. “So we don’t have to worry about leaving a force to guard the Well.”

“We should take the Well.”

“All right. How do we go about doing that? A lot of jugs? Do we need to pry up the tile?”

Solas stared at her, incredulous for a moment. “Forgive me, I’ve misjudged your knowledge. No. The Well isn’t… We must find a vessel willing to pay Mythal’s price. Then they can take the Well within themself.”

Adi fell back until she was laying on the grass. She didn’t bother trying to look at Solas. “Since you’re trying to bring everything back, do you even care who the vessel is?”

He was silent for some time before walking into her field of vision. “Not you. I will try to arrange to have one of my people present and willing, but failing that, I can’t risk the price of the Well interfering with my plans for the anchor.”

Adi nodded and closed her eyes. “Can you wake me up now?”

“Something has been troubling me.”

“Get on with it, then.”

“I was so startled when you took me into the mountains that it didn’t occur to me at the time, but even if you could surmise from what you learned in Vir Dirthara that I had created the Veil, already a stretch, there is no way you could assume I wanted to sunder the Veil.”

“The memories of you are strong there. Conflicted. I imagine that helped them persist. And there were the Archivists. Other spirits came, too. So curious of a physical body in the Fade. They spoke and spoke and spoke straight into my mind. So much information.”

“That explains why it took you so long to confront me.”

She nodded, eyes still closed. “As for knowing you want to destroy the Veil… It’s obvious. You made a mistake that destroyed everything you cared about. Of course you want to undo it. How did you think I survived in the Fade? On happy dreams of returning to lead us all to glory? Of course not. I wanted to undo Cullen’s death. That’s all that mattered.”

“Cullen’s death?”

Adrianna laughed at herself. “I can scarcely believe it myself. You have to remember, the last thing I saw before falling into the Fade was him being run through for following my orders.”

“But he is alive.”

“He is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, this is the end!
> 
> Wat indeed. True to the form of this, everything played out in game was essentially skipped. For those not incredibly familiar with the game story, it seems disjointed, lacking and somewhat random, but after several playthroughs and then reading way too many other fics, I'm really sick of what we all know is going to happen.
> 
> Between Adi being genre savvy and not losing her memories to the Nightmare demon, I always planned for her to sniff Solas out, but the long pause in writing is because I couldn't think of a suitable way for the story to proceed from there, so I pushed back the reveal and pushed it back and then finally took the break and then when I went to play again, it came to me how I wanted to run things.
> 
> I always aim to write things I would enjoy reading myself and this one just barely hits that mark for me, so I hope you enjoyed it.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought chapter 6 was the end just because it said it was the end, you weren't paying attention.

Adrianna started at the sudden laughter. She turned, her bathwater sloshing around as she prepared to throw her bar of soap at her husband. “What are you on about? It’s too early for that.”

Cullen sat up enough on their bed to look her in the eye. His grin split his face. “I just woke up and thought about getting, but then I remembered that we won. You did it. I still can’t believe it.”

She laughed, with a small amount of real mirth coming through. “It’s been a week, Love. And we’re still dealing with the clean up.”

“I know, but still…”

She threw the soap at him and sunk back into the hot water. His laughter was muffled by the water, but she still held her hands out of the water to make a rude gesture at him. After a moment, Adrianna felt his hands on her shoulders, so she surfaced enough to give him a kiss. “Yes, it’s quite spectacular being on the proper side of the apocalypse.”

“I… I’m glad you’re alright. The physical scars are deep. Especially from Adamant.” For the first time since he’d learned the extent of the damage, he didn’t look away at the mention of their inability to have a child.

Adi choked out a sob and squeezed her eyes shut as the tears came to her and she clutched Cullen’s hands. He made a panicked sound.

“Oh Adi, I didn’t mean to- You know I- I love you. I was just worried that your mind, your spirit would be permanently scarred. You were distant. Numb. I was afraid I’d lost you after all.” He leaned into the tub and held her, even though he ended up soaking wet.

“It’s not that,” she said through the tears. “I was just afraid that you-”

“Never. I love _you_ . And, _Maker_ , after everything I’ve been though, we might’ve had issues anyway. And as dark as it sounds, there are plenty of orphans we can collect if we need.”

Adi choked out a wet laugh. “Collect? Like fancy spoons or decorative plates?”

“We do have this great, big fortress.”

\---------

“And?”

Adrianna shivered and glanced at the obvious fuzzing edges of the Fade. “Couldn’t we have just arranged a ride into the mountains?”

“Lelianna won’t let me out of her sight now that I have the orb.”

“I did my part. You figure out how to get her out of Skyhold.”

“I’m working on it.”

“You’re rigging the Divine Election, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Good. She’s who I wanted to win, regardless.” She sighed. “Alright, what was the question, then?”

“Did anyone notice that I was the one using the orb?”

“Now that everything is relatively settled? No. In fact, Lelianna keeps having people ‘surreptitiously’ check me over to make sure I wasn’t influenced by it. No one close enough even had the capacity to notice. That’s what we planned for.” She sat on the false ground and rubbed her temples.

“Yes. I know. I’m sorry. I can’t risk anymore mistakes. You’re more than holding up your end of the bargain. I’ll send you ba-”

“Cullen’s going adopt a boy. Eventually.”

Solas sighed. “I knew this would happen.”

Adi held up one hand. “Stop complaining. Here’re the new terms.”

Solas pressed his lips into a thin line, but let her speak.

“If I die unexpectedly, you give the child a chance to bargain with you himself. If he wants the Veil to stay in place, he can fight you for it. Otherwise, once I know he’s old enough to keep it a secret from his father, I’ll tell him myself.”

“That’s… Not what I expected.”

  
“I honour my deals. Besides, there’s a non-zero chance you’ll change your mind about the whole burn the world thing.”


End file.
